my eyes are completely crossed. Reading this there are four "s" in crossed. it hurts my stomach to look at this. I can close my eyes and type this.

I'm not ready to sleep yet, but I need to look away from my painting. Smudges and streaks. When color loses meaning it is time for a step back and recapture my mind. think critically. Why am I using this color. Blocking in building. Constant construction. Sometimes I get lost in my own layers, losing track of where I am going. Often this is the moment when I sit and stare. which shape needs eliminating. What needs emphasizing. Blurring. Head-achey. eyes crossed. I put out my next color, rinse out my water jar. stepping back from the computer. I need to keep going.

I have this urgency, energy, frantic, yet still joyously.

I'm not going to finish tonight, I know this, I have work tomorrow.